Tag Archives: plastic surgery

Nose knows

You probably know someone who’s had a nose job.

I know two or three.

All were trying to take their too wide, too long or too bumpy noses and make them look more like some perfect version they had seen on a model or actress.

Hey, if it makes them feel better about themselves, I say go for it.

But take a look at these ‘nose jobs’ that went in the completely opposite direction — achieving perfection by being as unique as possible.

These are airplane nose jobs, by the way, in an exhibit of the same name at the Eric Firestone Gallery in Easthampton, New York.

Airplane nose art dates back to World War II.  Firestone purchased scrap government-issued airplanes– DC7s to F106s — gave them to 22 artists and let them have at it.

There is no standard for these nose jobs — no model perfection.  Each nose in the exhibit is as unique as its artist.

I’m sure there is something to be learned from all this.

I just like looking at the artwork.

Lip smackin’!

“Lip Gate” has me feeling deflated.

You’ve heard, no doubt, that psycho-celebrity Lisa Rinna recently had her upper lip surgically reduced in size.  She says it’s to remove scar tissue that has developed over the years from silicone lip injections she had way back in 1986.

Me thinks it is to promote her upcoming show on TV Land, “Harry Loves Lisa.”  Though some folks have come down on her for yet another round of plastic surgery (even if it is corrective),  it is attention for the series, which let’s face it, the small cable network venture can certainly use.

And her lips can certainly use the reduction.  I’ve seen them live and in person….and they were so large, they practically were their own person.

I was sitting in a diner in New York City having breakfast during a visit here before my move, and Lisa walked in — hat shoved down, big sunglasses, the whole celeb disguise firmly in place.

But those big lips sticking out — so big she couldn’t even close her mouth — I knew it was her in a New York minute.

So kudos to Lisa for returning them to a somewhat more natural state.  Maybe it will make her a bit easier for Harry to love.

Fat chance

As someone who has tried to outrun her backside most of her life, I had to at least entertain this idea.

FreezeAwayFat — how’s that for a company name — has created a product that uses the cold to reduce fat cells in your stomach, hips and thighs.

How does it work?

They contend that extreme cold activates your body’s brown fat cells, which in turn cause the white fat cells — the icky kind you apparently don’t want — to shrink away, thereby making you trimmer and slimmer.

You achieve this by wearing their Cool Shapes Contouring Shorts and inserting cold gel packs next to the areas you want to trim. Thirty minutes a day for five weeks is all it takes.  You’ll see results without surgery.

I want to believe this will work — even though the shorts look ridiculous — and I’ve never heard of brown and white fat cells before.  It also runs counter to all the things I’ve doubt done in the past to shrink my hips and thighs…like wrapping them in saran wrap under my sweat pants.  (Attractive, I know.)

Plus, if extreme cold is the key, wouldn’t people who live in arctic cold conditions be predisposed to be thin?  Because I’m not sure demographic data supports that.

In the end, Cool Shapes only costs $90 plus shipping — and five weeks of your life — to check out.  If they do work, good for you!

If they don’t, you’ll be set in ice packs for life.

Funny lady

My motives for seeing the Joan Rivers documentary yesterday were not entirely pure.

I wanted scoop.   I wanted to see Joan raw and exposed.  It’s not that I dislike the woman — I think she’s a comedic trailblazer — but I wanted to see behind the mask that she has paid so much money to keep in place over the years.

And I got all that.  But I didn’t expect to laugh my ass off throughout the show.

The documentary is a ‘year in the life’ of Joan Rivers, and it begins during a particularly low period in her career.  This movie was shot before her win on “Celebrity Apprentice,” and you watch her fight for every booking, every endorsement, every crumb of press she can get.

I’ve never felt so lazy in my life.

My favorite part, though, was seeing her perform her stand-up in venues large and small.  She was funny, she was filthy and she blew the roof off.

I walked in the theater a voyeur.

I walked out a fan.

Big wind

So, I’ve been perusing the celebrity gossip sites today (so you don’t have to), and there’s a new breeze blowing across the land.

Remember how you had to be thin to make it in Hollywood?

Now, you’re pretty much hated if you are.

Take Sarah Jessica Parker.  She’s sporting these muscle-only arms of late…and folks are having a field day.  Not admiring the lack of flab or anything like that.

They are pretty much grossed out.

And then there’s Tina Fey.  She’s been everywhere of late.  “30 Rock” is the sitcom of the moment.  Her movie “Date Night” with Steve Carell won the weekend box office.  She hosted a hilarious episode of “Saturday Night Live.”

She’s also been sexing it up on all her magazine covers and even the photo bumps in Saturday’s SNL.  But people want the frumpy Tina back…not this new, thin, mega-styled, air-brushed version.

Part of me applauds this grassroots call for real women to have real bodies.  Whether or not Hollywood will respond is another thing altogether.

But I have to wonder: would any of these people calling for normalcy — if placed in the same position — be able to resist becoming a bit plastic themselves?

Heck, if I achieved stardom — if money was no object — I’m pretty sure I would find it hard to resist a bit of de-frumping.

Who am I kidding?  I wouldn’t even put up a fight.

Got to change

Jane Fonda was recently spied out and about hiding behind large sunglasses and a high turtleneck.

This in itself isn’t that unusual; what is surprising is Fonda admitted her disguise was not to avoid reporters, but to hide the after effects of recent plastic surgery on her eyes and neck.

Now, Fonda is 72 years old now….and she’s an actor.  I would have expected her to have had work done long before now.

But apparently she made very strong comments against plastic surgery some 10 years ago, and now feels she will be dinged by the press and other actresses at her abrupt about face (excuse the wonderful pun).

Changing your mind about something after a decade?  Wow.  She must be the first person to ever do that.  I know I feel exactly the same way today about every issue in life as I did 10 years ago.

Yeah, right.

I figure Fonda and other actresses who end up having plastic surgery – after swearing against it in their youth – are probably less horrified at their change of mind than their change in appearance.  When you are one of the beautiful people, the realization that you age and sag and decay just like ugly folk must be devastating.

Heck, I started contemplating plastic surgery in first grade.  Thoughts about it later in life have shifted merely to accommodate the shifting of my various parts!

Finally, an advantage to not being beautiful – less angst about maintenance and repair.