Oh Christmas dress,
Oh Christmas dress!
Your lights are white and shiny.
Oh Christmas dress,
Oh Christmas dress!
I think I see her hiney.
But then, I kinda see her boobs
And legs and torso–navel, too.
Oh Christmas dress,
Oh Christmas dress!
Your finery is tiny.
I think there is a tiny flaw
in New York City’s book of law
that would allow a power saw
to whine outside my window —
All. Day. Long.
There is no where I can withdraw
from blades that whirr and gnash and gnaw.
To think I once enjoyed the thaw!
I miss the quiet of snow —
All. Day. Long.
That loud screech was the final straw!
I’m headed uptown to the spa
where insane cackles (ha ha ha!)
don’t matter ’cause you glow…
All. Day. Long.
Posted in Beauty, Humor, Life, Writing
Tagged all day long, bad poetry, beauty, beauty spa, book of law, circular saws, construction, final straw, glow, Humor, insane cackles, life, New York City, noise, ode, poetry, power saws, saw blades, uptown, writing
I do not know Toneh Perry.
But when he offered his thoughts in a hashtag game on Twitter yesterday, I thought he and his entry deserved a larger audience.
The hashtag — #confessyourunpopularopinion
Toneh’s submission:
It is not
Poetry
Just because
You
Write
A sentence
Vertically
Word.
Posted in Blog, Commentary, Games, Humor, Internet, Life, Writing
Tagged #confessyourunpopularopinion, audience, blog, commentary, games, hashtag, hashtag game, Humor, IMHO, Internet, life, poetry, Toneh Perry, Twitter, writing
Happy, laughing folks
Always brighten up my day…
But not this early.
If any meat deserves a rhyme,
It would be pork…every time.
Oh yeah — that sings!
Posted in Comedy, Entertainment, Food, Foods, Humor, Life
Tagged bacon, comedy, food, Foods, Humor, life, photography, poem, poetry, pork, rhyme, roses are red, Scott Emmons
Happy Limerick Day!
We celebrate Limerick Day every May 12th in honor of Edward Lear, the English writer who is credited with making the art form popular.
In other words, for making every Tom, Dick and Harry think they can write poetry — way to go, Eddie!
In honor of the big day, I wrote a rather lame limerick myself:
My plane from Dallas was late
Yesterday would be the date
So today I am groggy
My head coarse and foggy
And my blog? Well…it’s not so great.
See? This is the type of ‘poetry’ that Edward unleashed on the world. Of course, his wasn’t that great either. Take a read:
There was an Old Man in a tree,
Who was horribly bored by a Bee;
When they said, ‘Does it buzz?’
He replied, ‘Yes, it does!’
‘It’s a regular brute of a Bee!’
I mean, come on — he used ‘bee’ twice in the rhyme scheme.
Amateur.
Posted in Art, Blog, Books, Commentary, Entertainment, Games, Holiday, Humor, Life, Writing
Tagged airplane, art, bee, books, comedy, commentary, Dallas, Edward Lear, entertainment, Humor, life, limerick day, limericks, poem, poetry, rhyme, tree, writer, writing
Spoken word
I got up at 3:30am to watch the men’s singles final at the Australian Open.
Djokovic is playing; of course I did.
There’s a video that has been shown repeatedly throughout the tournament featuring a poem by a native Aussie and images of the continent.
It’s very high brow and thoughtful.
Wimbledon produces similar films which befit its formal air and traditions. But I would love it if the US Open would follow the same format but make them funny.
Same earnest delivery. Same chamber music. Heck, you could show the same type of beauty shots.
But have Tina Fey and Amy Poehler voice them and add their hilarious takes.
That would be poetry.
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Posted in Advertising, Commentary, Entertainment, Humor, Sports, Television, tennis
Tagged Amy Poehler, Australian Open, comedy, commentary, Djokovic, film, Humor, poetry, Sports, Television, tennis, Tina Fey, Wimbledon