Tag Archives: police

Pizza pie in your eye

I’ve heard of throwing pizza dough in the air…

…but throwing pizza as a punch?

A Florida man threw a hot slice of pizza at his roommate, who called the cops.

And they arrested him.

Since this incident occurred in Florida, it’s really not all that surprising. What is surprising is that the guy didn’t eat the slice when he threw it at him.

When life gives you lemons, buddy. It is pizza, after all.

Super Parents

parents of the yearFor your consideration…

May I submit a nomination for the
2015 Parents of the Year?

I know it’s early yet, but I believe this couple from Fayetteville, North Carolina is a serious contender…and I say this without my typical sarcasm or sass.

Why do I hold them in such high esteem?

When grainy, black-and-white video of an electronics store robbery was broadcast on their local TV station on New Year’s Eve, this man and woman recognized two of the burglars as their 14- and 16-year old sons…

And actually turned them in to police!

How many people today can say they would do the same?  Make their kids face up to their crime?  Take responsibility? Not sweep it under the rug and ‘promise to do better next time?’

These parents are nameless in the press — because their children are minors — but they are celebrities to me.

Rockin’ it old school…and one day their kids will appreciate what they did.


I see the light

I live across from a police precinct in Manhattan.

Could there be a safer location?

police precinct

I’ve always felt safe here. Police are on the street around the clock….and within reach at a moment’s notice.

But since the two grand jury decisions not to indict police officers in incidents in both New York City and Ferguson, it feels somewhat less so. Granted, demonstrations in Manhattan have been organized and peaceful to date — and none have ventured down my side street — but you sense that police are in a heightened state of alert.

Case in point, the station across from my building has their flood lights on every night, so our street is always daylight-bright.  When my dog and I go out for a walk at 7pm or midnight — or 3am if necessary — it looks like the middle of the afternoon.

So in a sense, I guess it’s even safer now. And probably keeping the people on the front of the building awake at night.


Spreading the word

boston-marathon-2013-modestoIf you participated in or attended today’s Boston Marathon and saw anything that may be helpful to the police, please call:


They are particularly looking for video of the explosion.

If you’d like to donate blood, please contact the Boston Blood Donation Center at (800) 733-2767.  And if you live in the Boston area, police recommend that you return to your homes.

Our thoughts are with you.

Point the finger

Officers, I have your thief.

Or a pretty good theory, anyhoo.

Someone stole almost 400,000 toothpicks from a manufacturer in Athens, Georgia.

Since there were no signs of forced entry, the owner thinks a former employee might be the culprit.

Sure, that would explain it.  Or maybe it was Stan Munro, the mastermind behind…

Toothpick World

Munro says he buys his toothpicks from a wholesaler to create his toothpick replicas of famous landmarks from around the world.

Look at the detail — they are incredible.  And that is why I think he’s a prime suspect.

After his endless hours of sitting in one spot and holding a steady hand to create these masterpieces, I’ll bet Stan would enjoy making a run down South and organizing a toothpick heist.

Don’t you?

Jury is in

After spending almost four years in an Italian prison, Amanda Knox is free, her murder conviction overturned.  Amanda’s happy.  Her family is overjoyed.

And the producers of Homeland are thrilled.

Didn’t connect those dots?  Let me do it for you, because it was my first TV-obsessed thought after hearing the verdict.

Homeland premiered last night on Showtime.  It follows the story of Marine Sgt. Nicholas Brody, who returns home after being held eight years in enemy territory.  He’s given a hero’s welcome by everyone except rogue CIA agent Carrie Mathison, who believes Brody was turned and is now working for Al Qaeda.

That’s just the first episode, guys.

Now, Amanda Knox is no American hero.  Her lawyers contend she is just a young woman who was in the wrong place at the wrong time (although she was found guilty of slander against police and a barman she falsely accused in the crime).

But I’m more concerned about her time in jail.  Like the Marine hero of Homeland, Amanda spent years confined in a foreign prison.  What did that do to her spirit?  To her loyalties?

She may not have been turned by a foreign country — Italy and the US were pretty friendly the last time I checked — but other forces could have ‘turned’ this impressionable, imprisoned youth.

Okay…not likely. But these are just the kind of comparisons that Showtime executives are hoping viewers will make to keep their series timely and top-of-mind.

At least, until the next Amanda Knox movie is produced.

Some bunny

What would Elwood P. Dowd do?

Police in Idaho Falls, Idaho have asked a man there to stop wearing his bunny suit in public.

William Falkingham has worn his rabbit costume primarily in his backyard, and nobody much cared.  But then a neighbor saw him standing behind a tree, his finger pointed like a gun at her son, and all hell broke lose.

Now police say Falkingham, who has no criminal record, could be arrested for public nuisance if he does it again.

What blatant bunny abuse!

I mean, seriously — how many times have you made that gesture?  When someone was annoying you?  At a good friend or family member, even?

Maybe the kid was being bratty or making fun of him.  I know I wasn’t there, but give the bunny a break.

Either way, does that fact he was dressed as a rabbit really make it so sinister?    If Walkingham must be reprimanded, why ban the bunny suit in the process?

(They say he wears it with a tutu sometimes — do we really want to rob the world of such ridiculous fun?)

“Well, thank you Harvey.  I prefer you, too.”Elwood Dowd, Harvey

Can’t touch this

What do your fingerprints say about you?

Not the old-fashioned ones the police lift on a messy ink pad — bacterial fingerprints.

Supposedly the mix of bacteria that live inside our fingerprints are unique and constant throughout our lifetime. Criminal investigators can now swab and sequence these bacteria to identify computer users.


With all the stuff I’ve seen on TV, I’m not all that surprised they have this level of technology.  I’m more interested in what my ‘unique and constant’ bacteria would be made up of…and what that would say about me.

My guess?  Animal dander, face powder, and Cheetos residue.  (I’m still not sure what that says about me…except Cheetos are a constant in my life.)

How about you?  If they swabbed your prints tomorrow, what three things do you think they would find in your bacteria?  Think of it as CSI without the body count (and no annoying musical stinger).

Thanks for playing.

Dinner and a show

There are some news stories that just warm the cockles of your heart.

And no, I’m not talking about anything that involves puppies or free movie passes or Cheetos, (although these things are very heartwarming to me in their own ways).

No…my favorite story o’ the day comes straight from Memphis, Tennessee where police arrested four people at a kid’s birthday party at none other than Chuck E. Cheese.

That’s a kid’s birthday party.  At Chuck E. Cheese.  You know, the place you take your kids so they can have good, clean fun in a safe environment where nothing bad will happen?

Well, at this party, a kid’s dad punched another kid’s mom in the face because they were taking too long in the photo booth.


After the initial punch was thrown, other people jumped into the fight, sparking a “melee.”  The police ended up leading four people out in handcuffs and cited one parent with possession of marijuana.

Suddenly the motivation behind the punch is clearer and clearer (or maybe foggier and foggier).  Dad’s got the munchies, so hurry it up, woman!

Next in the news:  Chuck E. Cheese makes parents pee in a cup before they can be seated.