Tag Archives: reality show

Wait for it

It’s summer, and that means a lot of reality show competitions have been added to the TV schedule.

Food Network Star has been cookin’ with gas on Sunday evenings for several weeks already, and my beloved Project Runway got underway this past Thursday.

I never realize how much I miss them until they come back on they air, and then, when they do —

Yellin’ and screamin’ and dancin’

Back in my improv days, we learned that agreement was the name of the game. Audiences don’t want to sit and watch people disagree, right?

Then why do I enjoy Dance Moms so much?

grrrrrI started watching the Lifetime reality show at first out of simple curiosity.  But I was quickly sucked in.

I could pretend it’s the dance numbers.  Or the rehearsal process.  But let’s be honest —

It’s the conflict.

Abby, the dance teacher, yelling at the kids.  The moms yelling at Abby.  The entire group yelling at moms and dancers from other troupes.  They are whackadoodle, and I love every minute of it.

I’m not sure what that says about me.  Perhaps my life is just so calm and centered that I am looking for vicarious insanity?

Doubt it.

Crushin’ it

I’ve never watched The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Or Beverly Hills. Or Atlanta or Dallas or Miami

Thank you, no.

But I’m pretty sure we have that reality show franchise to thank for the ‘Everyday Collection’ TV ad from Target.

Gotta love that ‘tude.

Thank you, Housewives.

Spoiler

How quickly glee can turn into gloom.

Cameron left The Glee Project last night.  Voluntarily.

Even after Ryan Murphy, the show’s creator, met with him one-on-one and asked him to stay.  Told him he could go all the way and win the competition.  That they really wanted to write a role for him on Glee.

Cameron? He just wanted to go home.

I am so bummed.

But if reality shows have taught me anything, it’s that I shouldn’t believe what I am seeing.

While I do think Cameron’s reasons for leaving the show are sincere — especially his clash with directors regarding acting choices he refused to make — I have to wonder if he was later convinced to use his dilemma to add drama to the competition.

A change of heart and surprise reappearance at the eleventh hour would make great reality show fodder.  And Cameron on Glee?

Heck, I cast him weeks ago.

With love

Dear restaurant chefs:

If you came to The Sticky Egg looking for a creative recipe for your weekend brunch menu, my apologizes.

We don’t do that kinda cookin’ here.

But if you are preparing to compete in Chopped on Food Network, I can help.

Previously an infrequent viewer, I recently sat through a Chopped marathon –ah, inertia — and have discovered the secrets to winning the Chopped championship and coveted $10,000 prize.

  1. Stories: The chef who puts his heart on his white sleeve usually wins.  His chatter to camera is filled with phrases like “love in my food,” “cooking with soul,” and “passion for food.”  The judges are also swayed by personal accounts of the chef’s family and/or upbringing.  Bring photos.  Obviously, you gotta cook well, but if the competition is close — stories can turn the tide.
  2. Seasonings — Be sure to use them.  A chef who doesn’t salt or pepper his dishes well is dismissed as an amateur.
  3. Sense — Show some.  If you only have 20 minutes to make an appetizer, don’t attempt to complete a dish that typically requires two hours.  Undercooked food really turns off the judges…and makes you look like a goober.

Of course, ignoring all these rules makes for more entertaining television, so you can forget I said anything, too.

I am, after all, just an Egg.

Really?

Swamp People.

Really, History Channel?

This is the type of program that meets your “high standards of integrity?”

The Kennedys mini-series was beneath you, deemed not worthy for air.  But a reality show about a month-long alligator hunt in the bayou is up to snuff?

Sure.  That makes sense.

Learning the top secret recipe for “goo-goo” juice — a special gator bait — certainly seems more historically relevant than examining a political dynasty like the Kennedys.

And while the Kennedys were a lively bunch, you didn’t often find them in the swamp, racing their speedboats and wrestling alligators to the death.

Nothing like ugly animal death to help ratings, huh, History Channel?  And we already know how The Kennedys ends.

Plus, a reality show is real — no need to worry about the facts being tampered with there.  Am I right??

Riiiiiiight.

Sinister strings

Vampires.  Werewolves.  Zombies.  They are all over television and film these days.

(Hey, I’m not complaining.)

But have you encountered…The Violin Monster????

I have.  He was playing in the subway yesterday afternoon.

Now, it’s not that unusual to see musicians playing for change on the train platform.  But a guy wearing a monster mask playing the violin?

It caught my eye.

He is a smart Violin Monster, too.  Next to his open violin case — where the money was piling up — he had a sign advertising his website, ViolinMonster.com. It’s a fun read.  The writing is straightforward and hilarious in spots.  I recommend it.

And if you’re headed to New York City this spring, I hope you get to see the Violin Monster.

Heck, he might have his own reality show by then!

Late to the party

NBC.  I’ve decided it stands for ‘Never Be Cutting-Edge.’

How else can you explain the network’s decision to launch an “American Idol”-esque program next spring…just as AI is wheezing its final breath?

The producers and major players can see the writing on the wall.  The viewers are leaving, too.  So now NBC decides to enter the singing competition business?

At least they’re consistent.

Sure, their new iteration has a twist. The judges don’t face the contestants, so in theory their decision will be based solely on the quality of the vocals.  (The idea is based on a program called “The Voice of Holland” already in production.)

Forgive me if I think they will get around that stipulation.

More importantly, I think audiences are ready for something different.  When AI dies — which I think will happen after next season if not this one — people will be ready for the next great competition…and this ain’t it.

Who knows?  By then, maybe reality TV will even be going out of style altogether.

We can always dream.

The word

Each year, the Oxford English Dictionary adds new words and phrases from popular slang to its pages “for the ages.”

Some are questionable…like “LBD,” which seems more like the acronym for “little black dress” than a new word.  Others are spot on — like “overthink,” which I thought was a word already (but let’s not overthink that decision).

OED editors are busily compiling their list for 2011 as we speak, so I had wanted to nominate a new word for their consideration:

“mondo”

But I checked, and the word is already there.  So I guess what I’m really asking is that OED update the definition…and here’s why.

Mondo Guerra is a designer on the current season of “Project Runway” on Lifetime.  Although an extremely quiet person by nature, Mondo’s artistic style is bold, graphic and saturated with bright color.  He doesn’t need to speak; his work speaks for him.

I admire that very much.

In fact, I feel his design sense is so distinctive, it would be appropriate to include his photo and bio under the definition for “mondo” in OED as both a noun and verb, as in…

“I think we should mondo that”…or, “That needs a touch of mondo.” Or perhaps even, “You’re looking especially mondo today.”

I love the way that sounds…and I for one would consider being called “mondo” the highest form of praise.

So, join my crusade, won’t you?  It would be very “mondo” of you.

Fickle fat

So, I have decided the current recommended way to revive a lackluster career is to gain a lot of weight and then take it off as a spokesperson for Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers or such.

Look at what it it has done for Valerie Bertinelli and Marie Osmond — both had practically disappeared from the public eye, and now — BAM — everywhere you look, there they are, and  ’50 pounds lighter’ to boot.

And, now even comedians — the ones you’d think would make the biggest fun of this phenomena — are joining in.

Jason Alexander, George from “Seinfeld.”

Nicole Sullivan of “MADtv” and “King of Queens.”

Sara Rue of “Less than Perfect.”

Really?  Is this the only way to get your name back out there?

Or can actors only lose weight when everyone is watching them (or someone is paying them to do it)?

I suppose it’s inspirational on some level.  But mostly, it comes across as desperate.

Oh well…reality shows have trained us to enjoy desperate.

Starve on!