Tag Archives: Reece Witherspoon

For hire

Dear Robert Pattinson:

Please hire me as your publicist.

Now, I know what you’re thinking.  Being no doubt a faithful reader of The Sticky Egg — and why wouldn’t you?  I’ve mentioned you a whopping 12 times during the blog’s two-year existence — you might deem my motives less than honorable.

True, my mind does go a bit blank when I see photos of you.  And I will cop to letting a scream or two fly at midnight premieres of the Twilight films.

(All the other kids were doing it.)

No, this plea to join your entourage is motivated by a sincere wish to improve your public speaking skills.  It is purely professional.  Any personal enjoyment I might glean during the coaching process is simply collateral damage.

Don’t get me wrong — your sense of humor and lack of ‘slickness’ is charming in one-on-one interviews.  But in acceptance speeches and during the MTV Movie Awards’ salute to Reece Witherspoon last night, for example, just a bit of preparation and polish would have made a world of difference in that larger venue.

Your ideas are fun; they just need a little more work.  Reece showed that when she stepped on stage and made them better.

Let Chelsea Handler’s shocked reaction be your guide…and let me be your coach.

I promise to keep our interaction age appropriate.

Don’t forget

I saw Water for Elephants last night at a special early screening sponsored by Living Social.  Drinks, appetizers, the movie and a coupon for the book — all for $20?

I’m in.

Full disclosure — I haven’t read the book.  During the cocktail hour before the movie, I found that most of the people there had.  And they approached the film with equal parts excitement and expectation.

Me?  I had none. I was there based on the trailer alone.  (We all agreed that was good.)

I think we all agreed on the movie as well.  When an entire theatre filled with people cheers not once, but twice at the end of a film, that’s a good sign.

If, like me, you haven’t read Water for Elephants, it’s set in the Great Depression.  An Ivy League veterinary student loses his parents and his home at the start of the film.  Forced to find his own way in the world, he hops a train which, as fate would have it, is a struggling circus.  There he finds work and love — the girl, unfortunately, is the owner’s wife.

Wouldn’t ya know?

Christoph Waltz, who won an Oscar for Inglourious Basterds, is riveting as the circus owner and ringmaster.  He is unbelievably cruel — to both people and animals — but is still able to elicit some sympathy for his actions.

[My one hesitation in seeing the film was the animal cruelty I knew would be portrayed on screen. While it was there — all CGI, no animals were hurt in the making of this film — it was not overt, and off-camera when possible.  It will still hurt your feelings, but don’t skip the movie.]

Reece Witherspoon is all platinum hair and ice — a hardened circus performer.  She never really warmed up, though, which made her ‘desperate’ romance with Robert Pattinson a bit hard to believe.

And Robert?  Well, he finally has a role with a little more teeth in it — get it?  teeth?  you’re welcome — and I think he handled it quite well.  The cinematography, with all his sepia tones and sunsets to convey the era, suit him well.

If you just like looking at him, this film does not disappoint.  But his performance offers much more…something the major film critics are having to grit their teeth and admit.  I’m enjoying that as well.

Oh — and I can’t forget the elephant in the room.  She ends up being the star of the show.

Gender bender

By now you’ve probably read the news that Jake Gyllenhaal dumped Taylor Swift right before the People’s Choice Awards.

Magazine covers have been filled with the story.  First-hand accounts of a very dejected Taylor backstage at the awards.  Jake’s sudden and unexplained disappearance from her life — why the sudden change of heart?

Perhaps it was all part of a genius plan.

According to scientists at Penn State, the ‘dumping’ has made both of them more attractive.

Come again?

A recent study there confirms that a man who dumps a woman — thereby taking the dominant role in the romantic relationship — makes him more attractive to future partners.

Prior to dating Taylor, Jake had received his own very public dumping by Reece Witherspoon. So, according to the research, he needed to take the upper hand in his relationship with Taylor to restore his level of attractiveness in the dating pool.

Likewise, by being dumped by Jake, Taylor is now more attractive to other men, whereas dominant women — those who dump men — are considered ‘more picky and demanding.’

Sorry, I just threw up in my throat a little bit.

Look, this study may be grounded in fact, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it.  Are we all really that predictable and stupid?