Tag Archives: Shark Week

Green gunk week?

Enough about sharks. Let’s hear it for the ‘little people’ —

Phytoplankton

phytoplanktonThey also live in the oceans and bodies of water, but they’re microscopic. Yet they are responsible for the production of most of the oxygen in the Earth’s atmosphere.

Can sharks do that? No.

(And I doubt they would if they could.)

So, Discovery Channel, how about a week devoted to this teeny tiny miracle of nature?  Phytoplankton concentrations have been decreasing each year since 1950 —

Let’s show ’em a little love.

Blue room

I’ve never wondered before why the lights are blue on Radio City Music Hall.

Tonight they could have served as a signal —

Craig Ferguson is in the house…and things are gonna get dirty.

They actually went blue before Craig made it on stage.  His warm-up act, Josh Robert Thompson — the voice of Geoff Peterson, the gay robot skeleton on The Late Late Show — did 20 minutes of impressions.  His take on Morgan Freeman, Matthew McConaughey, Regis Philban and Liam Neeson had a common theme…

They were all talking while having sex.

(Josh did apologize to his mother, who was in the audience.)

But of course, Craig never says he’s sorry.  He made fun of Nazis, Canadians and his beloved Shark Week.  He spent a lot of time visiting and revisiting his favorite parts of the female anatomy.  His set had energy and profanity and, as always, at least one joke.

So glad I was in on it.

Toothy

Are you enjoying Shark Week?

It started Sunday on Discovery Channel.  If you’ve missed the 80,000 televisions promos, take a look-see…

Fun, huh?

Even if you don’t plan on watching Shark Week, that promo pretty much sums up what you can expect.  Lots and lots of sharks, jumping about, hurling themselves into the air and at each other and at the unfortunate people that get in their way.

I’m not sure why the same footage takes an entire week.

Maybe Discovery Channel needs that much time to sell all the Shark Week merchandise they have assembled.  We’re talking DVDs, t-shirts, hoodies, tote bags, mouse pads, puzzles, even cozies.  All the types of items that, if thrown into the ocean as litter, would kill the sharks if they swallowed ’em.

I’m just saying…

If I watch any of Shark Week, it will be to see host Craig Ferguson.  He is always funny and snarky and full of surprises.

Unlike Shark Week.  I’m pretty sure I know what carnage is coming.