Tag Archives: Taylor Swift

The brave one

Have you seen the Disney Dream Portraits by Annie Leibovitz?

She posed celebrities as classic heroes and villains from Disney films: Jessica Chastain as Merida in Brave. Russell Brand as Captain Hook. Taylor Swift as Rapunzel.

They are really something.

But I think they are wasted on celebs.  I mean, regular folk would be a more impressive transformation, don’t you think?

carla_brave photoshop

 
Oh yes, I quite agree.

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Gender bender

By now you’ve probably read the news that Jake Gyllenhaal dumped Taylor Swift right before the People’s Choice Awards.

Magazine covers have been filled with the story.  First-hand accounts of a very dejected Taylor backstage at the awards.  Jake’s sudden and unexplained disappearance from her life — why the sudden change of heart?

Perhaps it was all part of a genius plan.

According to scientists at Penn State, the ‘dumping’ has made both of them more attractive.

Come again?

A recent study there confirms that a man who dumps a woman — thereby taking the dominant role in the romantic relationship — makes him more attractive to future partners.

Prior to dating Taylor, Jake had received his own very public dumping by Reece Witherspoon. So, according to the research, he needed to take the upper hand in his relationship with Taylor to restore his level of attractiveness in the dating pool.

Likewise, by being dumped by Jake, Taylor is now more attractive to other men, whereas dominant women — those who dump men — are considered ‘more picky and demanding.’

Sorry, I just threw up in my throat a little bit.

Look, this study may be grounded in fact, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it.  Are we all really that predictable and stupid?

What the wha?

I’ve been working all morning in a very small, windowless room, and when I finally came up for air, what headline greeted me?

Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal Are Dating

Wow…how long was I in there?

These two seems words apart to me, but when I looked it up on imdb.com, it turns out Taylor is 21 and Jake’s only 30.  Still…she seems like a really young 21, and he is kinda old for his years.

So where does that net out? Taylor’s practically dating her dad….or someone who could be her dad in the mental sense.  Still, Jake is probably a whole lot better looking than her dad.  (Just guessing…never seen the man.)

But why would Jake date Taylor?  She is the total antithesis of Reese Witherspoon, his last great love.  Reese is the divorced mother of two kids, and from all reports, Jake was super serious.

The perfect antidote?  Date a young blond thing that is so far from marriage or thoughts of  a serious relationship that you’re guaranteed a fairly stress-free good time.

And it’s shouldn’t strain on your brain, either.

Of course, that’s assuming the reports are even true.  They were sighted together at “Saturday Night Live;” in Brooklyn near Maggie Gyllenhaal’s home; and out together for Sunday brunch.  Sounds like something-something to me!

Oh well, back into the windowless room.  No doubt they’ll both be dating someone else by the time I come out.

One note

Has a mere fortnight passed since I praised the writers of “Saturday Night Live” — and musical/guest host Taylor Swift — for a very, very funny show?

Seems so long ago now.

They followed that stellar evening with the hosting tragedy of January Jones from “Mad Men.”  Funny — she and Taylor are both tall, beautiful blondes, but wow — the comparisons end there.  January couldn’t tell a joke, keep a straight face, play different characters — hell, even read a cue card.

Some people are born to play supporting roles.

On a more positive note, our friend Jason Sudeikis was in pretty much every sketch…so good for him.

Last night’s show had tremendous potential in the guest hosting turn of Joseph Gordon-Levitt.  His most recent movie was the oh-so-wonderful anti-romantic comedy “500 Days of Summer,” but he has been equally brilliant in darker indie films like “Brick” and “Mysterious Skin.”

Joe had a much better show overall, but SNL fell into one of its old habits, which kept Joe’s show from being a Taylor Swift uber-success:  they found out that he could sing — something we haven’t seen him do much on TV or film — and they had him sing the entire show.

Uhh….why?

Joe singing his monologue was surprising and funny.  But then Joe played a Latin American singer in the next game show sketch…and sang.  Then Joe played singer Jason Mraz in a talk show sketch — and sang.  Then Joe played a cruise ship singer — and sang  — in a Thanksgiving dinner sketch.

We get it.  Joe can sing.  But is that all you guys got?

Taylor Swift is a singer, but she only sang her monologue and one other “greatest hits” commercial spoof.  Joe, the film actor, sang more than Taylor Swift, the CMA Entertainer of the Year.  And I’m including her musical numbers.

I’m surprised they didn’t have Joe sing something during Weekend Update. (Don’t worry, guys — you can use that idea on your next show.

Swift reactions

I didn’t watch the CMAs last night.  (GLEE was on — I mean, seriously.)

But like most television commentators, that won’t stop me from having an opinion on the broadcast or sharing it here.

God bless the USA.

Rumor has it Taylor Swift won four awards including “Entertainer of the Year.” Reaction was swift — pardon the pun,  I like it so much I’m using it twice — and negative.

When show host Brad Paisley tried to compliment Taylor on her win at such an early age, his co-host Carrie Underwood — who lost to Taylor in the Best Female Vocalist of the Year category — interrupted to praise themselves as event hosts.

Meow.

Then, Wynonna Judd, when asked to comment on Taylor’s win — which makes her the youngest ever “Entertainer of the Year”– said:

“You want my honest comment? It’s too much too soon.  Time is God’s way of keeping everything from happening at once. It’s just too much of a good thing too soon.”

Cold.

Of course, Taylor is young.  She celebrated her big win with a cereal party with her mom and dad.

Awwwww.

But after watching her do such as a great job on “Saturday Night Live” last week as both musical and guest host — which is something most people aren’t talented enough to even attempt — I’d say Taylor can hold her own.  Everyone else just better get used to having her around.

Those comments?  Well, they make you sound bitter.  And cranky.

And old.

La la la.

Ha ha ha.

La la la…ha ha ha

So, I’ve had this theory for a while.

I think episodes of “Saturday Night Live” tend to be funnier when the guest host is a male celebrity in his mid-20’s to early 30’s.  The SNL writing staff is predominantly male and around this age (at least in their minds) and just writes better stuff for a host that is more like themselves.

Case in point:  Justin Timberlake.  Zac Efron.  Neil Patrick Harris.  Paul Ruud.  Anna Faris.  (She counts as a guy.)  Shia LaBeouf.  Jake Gyllenhaal. They have all had incredible shows — really funny stuff.

Of course, even I look at that list and think — that’s a pretty impressive group of talent.  But we’ve seen really funny people appear on SNL and suck wind.  So, that’s not always a given.

And then someone like Taylor Swift appears on SNL as both the musical guest and the host.  Now, I personally felt this was a huge risk.  Obviously, she can sing.  But who thought Taylor Swift was going to be able to hold her own as host? Has she done any kind of acting up to this point?

But she did.  I thought Saturday’s show was hilarious. But a big part of that was the writing.

Taylor got the writers on her side.  And she’s not a male celebrity of the appropriate age.  She falls outside my hypothesis.  How did she do it?

Here’s my new theory:  Taylor let ’em ‘have at her.’  Gave them her personal life and let them play. No topics were off limit.  And it worked.

So, then I went back and looked at the other shows that I liked from the past.  Zac Efron poked fun at his own success on “High School Musical.”  Neil Patrick Harris did an inspired salute to “Doogie Howser.”  Jake Gyllenhaal did his opening monologue in drag.

Maybe they all were successful for the same reason: no holds barred comedy.  I just didn’t notice until Saturday.

Go bunny business!

Foot-in-mouth disease

The whole world has been in an uproar lately about the H1N1 virus.  It’s a legitimate worry.  We need to be aware and prepared and safe.

But there is another virus that has already infected millions of people.  And thanks to the wide variety of media available today, when this virus erupts, we can witness it instantaneously.

The dread disease?  A horrendous, offensive, egregious lack of manners.

Call me old-fashioned — and I’m not — but lately it seems like people — men and women of all ages —  are treating each other like crap…and we get to see it immediately, courtesy of the closest media outlet.

Exhibit A:  South Carolina Representative Joe Wilson. His now infamous “You lie!” shoutout during President Barack Obama’s address to a joint session of Congress was an unheard of breach of decorum.  He quickly apologized, but his slip became the evening’s news story, not healthcare.

Exhibit B: Serena Williams. She not only verbally abused a teeny-tiny lines woman at the US Open, she also repeatedly shoved her tennis racket in the official’s face and threw the F-bomb around 5+ times in front of an international audience.  She managed to be threatening, tasteless and classless — all at the same time — and only issued an apology after her publicist reminded her that her book was ” in stores now.”

Exhibit C: Kayne West. Less than 24 hours after Serena’s meltdown, West walked on the VMA Awards Show stage and took the microphone away from Taylor Swift — who was accepting an award for her music video  — to tell her that Beyonce’s video was “better.”   To the audience’s credit, he got boo’ed…big time.  And Beyonce — ever classy — brought Swift back up on stage later in the evening for a second chance to speak.

What up, world?  Have we all forgotten the basic rules of civility?  I hate to be old school here — ’cause I’m not — but treating people with common courtesy and respect is still expected, even in a world where we interact with each other more and more via email, instant messenger, facebook, tweets, and pings.

Thank you for reading.  Have a great day.

(See?  That wasn’t so hard.)