Tag Archives: tennis match

In 7 days…

Posted on July 9, 2015 | Leave a comment

During this fortnight that is Wimbledon, I can’t get enough tennis.

7DaysInHell-720x1066But that’s not why I loved and fervently recommend 7 Days in Hell, the hilarious mockumentary scheduled to air this Saturday night on HBO.

(I saw it early OnDemand. Gotta love OnDemand.)

Andy Samberg (SNL, Brooklyn 99) is Aaron Williams, a washed up former tennis star long removed from the game who returns for one last epic match against his bitter rival, young tennis phenom Charles Poole, played by Kit Harington (the late — or is he? — Jon Snow of Game of Thrones).

The match goes the full five sets and, since it is played at Wimbledon, does not have a tie break in the final set. So the play goes on and on — for a variety of bizarre reasons — for seven long days.

John Isner and Nicolas Mahut will be a tad jealous when they see why.  (They hold the real record for the longest match at Wimbledon, iffin you didn’t know — 11 hours, 5 minutes of play over three days.)

There are tons of cameos by celebrities from television, film, tennis, even the world of magic. The story is outrageous, but the documentary format is honored, so it looks right…

Even though it is gloriously wrong.

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Posted in Celebrities, Comedy, documentary, Entertainment, Humor, Life, Movies, Sports, Television

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Sweat happens

Posted on August 31, 2014 | Leave a comment

Play was suspended earlier today at the US Open due to heavy storms and lightning in the New York City area.  It brought to mind the question:

Don’t tennis players know their outfits are going to get wet?

Not from rain.  From sweat.

Today was the most humid day of the tournament by far, and the players — male and female alike — were drenched, their clothes reduced to near transparency.  Which begs a second question:

Do they consider this possibility when they chose colors?

wozniackiMaria Sharapova and Caroline Wozniacki, who played earlier this afternoon, wore light grey and tan respectively in their afternoon match.  After just one or two games, I could have sketched an anatomically correct map of not only their undergarments, but also any birthmarks, moles or particularly large freckles.

What gives, ladies?

I should really pass the blame to the clothing manufacturers.  It seems like this issue should be part of their quality assurance testing.

We can do better, people.

 

 

 

 

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Posted in Celebrities, Design, Fashion, Humor, Life, Sports, Television

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All in the family

Posted on August 25, 2014 | Leave a comment

My friend Leah and I went to the US Open tennis tournament today hoping to see favorite players.

Me, Djokovic at the practice courts. Her, Verdasco in his early round match. We were both successful. (Leah even shook Verdasco’s hand.)

jack sockBut we did not expect to meet Jack Sock’s aunt and uncle on the train platform on our way back into the city!

But we did.

They were chatting with friends and were curious about the matches that were still in progress.  And since both of us were intent on our cellphones, they asked for an update.

We ended up talking until we arrived at Penn Station.

I think that counts as yet another sports celebrity encounter — don’t you?

 

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Posted in Entertainment, Family, Humor, Life, Sports, Television

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Middle moodiness

Posted on June 30, 2013 | Leave a comment

“Middle Sunday”

I’ve been watching TV coverage of The Championships: Wimbledon for as long as I can remember, and this is the first time I’ve heard this term used to describe today’s pause in play.

wimbledon sundayIn case you’re not a tennis fan, Wimbledon runs for 13 days — Monday through Sunday — and traditionally does not schedule any matches on the first Sunday.  Today.

I hate Middle Sunday.

After a full week of great tennis, I’m totally spoiled.  In fact, I’m having Wimbledon withdrawal.  It almost makes me wish it had rained a bit more this week, because in the past, they have had to play tennis on Middle Sunday to make up matches.

Of course, they don’t call it Middle Sunday then.  No, the day has to have a new name —

“People’s Sunday”

Yeah…I would like that way better.

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Posted in Commentary, Entertainment, Humor, Life, Sports, Television, Travel, TV, Weather

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Who is that dignified dame?

Posted on June 27, 2013 | Leave a comment

I know I can do anything I set my mind to…be anything I want to be.  But even if I lived in England and were the appropriate age…

I could never be a Wimbledon ball girl.

The Championships - Wimbledon 2010: Day SixLook at that steely gaze.  She maintains it the entire match.

Does she smile?  Never.  Appear to enjoy the match or be affected by the tennis legends that are playing mere meters  — yes, meters, it is in England — away?

Not a chance.

She’s severe.  Precise.  Efficient.  Her top stays tucked into her skirt, even after she sprints across the court to retrieve a loose ball.  And most important of all….

She can aim the tennis ball when she throws it.

Shoot — give those ball girls a superhero movie with a summer release date.  They’re not human!

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Posted in Comedy, Commentary, Entertainment, Humor, Life, Sports, Television, TV

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What a racket

Posted on November 11, 2012 | Leave a comment

Dear ESPN:

This note is for the team calling today’s ATP World Tour Finals, but it’s becoming an epidemic in the coverage of professional tennis —

The flip flop

The announcers start the match making strong, definitive statements about the fitness/world standings/chances of each player in the match in progress. But the moment that the momentum switches — no matter the reason, no matter how unexpected — the TV personalities abandon every previous statement, and run to the other side.

Political candidates look steadfast and true in comparison.

Every original statement is changed.  Every prediction overturned.  And since TV announcers always work in teams of two or three, they work together to rewrite history.  So, by the end of the match, it appears they knew all along that ______________ would defeat _____________.

Gee whiz — didn’t you?

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Sporting manners

Posted on September 3, 2012 | Leave a comment

Professional tennis players:

With a few exceptions, you display great sportsmanship.

You begin and end each match with a handshake at the net, and can often be seen applauding your opponent’s play at the conclusion of a particularly well-placed volley.

You also seem compelled to apologize when good luck comes your way…in the form of the tennis ball clipping the net and falling on the other side of the court.  Immediately your hand pops up, your face adopts a  look for shame.

Really?  Are you truly sorry?  And for what — that a 50/50 chance, a coin toss went your way this time?  Why apologize for that?  It will probably go the other guy’s way next time.  The fates will equal things out, I’m sure.

And if they don’t?  You can wave at your opponent when you hoist the trophy.  Believe me, he’ll get it.

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