Tag Archives: Tiger Woods

Teed off

I love Jordan Spieth. If you follow golf, you probably do, too.

If you don’t know who Jordan is, he’s the best thing to happen to golf since Tiger Woods first entered the scene. (And keep your judgments to yourself — he who casts the first stone and all that…)

Jordan became a professional golfer after only one year of college, but no one has ever disparaged his decision to leave school early or lack of education or poor example to our youth.

I think Kentucky basketball coach John Calipari sees the irony…don’t you?

Calipari Speith

Ripple

I’m so glad Tiger’s back.

#TheMasters

 

Head and shoulders above

I’ve been watching Golf Channel’s coverage of the Presidents Cup at Muirfield Village in Dublin, Ohio.

Best seat in the house if you don’t have a ticket, right?

Wrong.

tiget woods squirrel

As plain as the shirt on his back

Golf is a mental game — everybody says so.

So it has been interesting to watch the course at Oak Hill beat the brains out of the No. 1 and No. 2 players in the world.

Both Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson started today’s final round of the PGA Championship well out of contention — Phil in second to last place. Many of the announcers said they were actually looking forward to watching the two, thinking they would be more aggressive and willing to let loose since they didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of winning.

I’m not sure we’ve seen that.

What we did see was Tiger waving the white flag — ever so symbolically — even before he stepped up to the first tee. He traded the solid red shirt he traditionally wears on Sundays for a model with a gray back and collar.

tiger-woods-pga-championship-2013_r640Subtle, but telling.

Muy loco

March Madness —

It’s not just for basketball anymore!

During a break in today’s Ohio State/Iowa State match-up, I switched over to the final round of the Arnold Palmer Invitational Golf tournament.  Tiger Woods and Rickie Fowler are in the final pairing, and I wanted to see if they were on the course.

Not just then.

Spain’s Sergio Garcia was the focus of attention because his ball was up in a tree.  And so was he.

sergiointreeSergio wasn’t gonna take a drop.

Nope, he climbed up into the tree and decided to hit the ball from right there.

To get it into the fairway, he had to hit a back-handed shot.  And believe it or not, he did just that…and then climbed on down.

Gotta love the craziness in all sports this time of year!

Bad boy

“Dancing with the Stars” may be on hiatus — and a dark, sad time it is — but mirror ball trophy winning pro Derek Hough is still making headlines,  this time for his moves off the dance floor.

I’m such a gossip.

And that’s exactly what this is.  Our Derek has gone and gotten himself involved in a celebrity marital scandal across the pond that mirrors the Tiger Woods fiasco.

Ashley Cole, a British soccer star, was caught cheating on his wife Cheryl when she discovered nasty text messages on his phone from the women he was sleeping with.  (Sound familiar?)  Apparently Cheryl is in a British pop group called Girls Aloud and appeared on the ‘The X Factor.’

Where does golden boy Derek figure in, you ask?

He and Cheryl danced together on a British Christmas special last year, and then he popped up again in the ‘Parachutes’ music video.  But his recent appearance outside Cheryl’s hotel room in Los Angeles in the middle of the night has everyone talking.  The photographers caught him, but he just smiled and hugged his puppy dog.

Derek, Derek, Derek.  Before you danced with and dated that evil Shannon Elizabeth a few years ago, you were a good boy.  Then the changes began.  You got snippy with the other dancers.  You whined to the voters.  She turned you into a…a...celebrity.

When the news broke that you two split, I thought you were cured. But it looks like some of the sickness remains…’cause now you’re bad.

Bad, bad, bad.

Lions and tigers

Mark your calendar.  Set your iPhone alarm.  Grab a beverage and a snack and plop down in front of your laptop’s live stream.

This Friday at 11am ET, Tiger Woods is stepping back into the spotlight to announce his future plans.

Except it’s not so much a spotlight anymore, is it, Tiger?  It’s more like the white hot light of a police interrogation room.  All the waves of love and support that you have come to expect from the media and your loyal fans has been reduced to a sub-par trickle.

Maybe that’s why the press conference scheduled at PGA Tour headquarters in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida is simply you reading a statement — no questions allowed.

But how well did controlling the situation with silence serve you in the past, Tiger?  Let’s say it together using yet another pun — it didn’t make the cut.  Perhaps taking a question or two or seven might be a good thing…and earn you back an ally in the press.

Personally?  I don’t really care who you sleep with.  I’m sorry for your wife and kids, and for the way your affairs were made public.  But I doubt you are the only professional athlete who has abused his position with so many women (and in so many different positions — booyah!).  You just got caught…and in such a spectacularly ridiculous fashion.

Get the help you need, Tiger, and then get back out on the golf course.  The sport is less without you.

Let’s get your name on the headline of the sports section again.

Whadda ya say?

Lower still

Oh, the tabloid media.  They’ll do just about anything to sell magazines.

Just ask Tiger Woods.

And now the more legitimate press is getting in on the action…if you want to include Vanity Fair under that umbrella.

TMZ.com and ‘Access Hollywood’ may have brought us photos of Tiger’s crashed car and collected the names of his ever-growing stable of mistresses, but Vanity Fair ‘got the get’ we’ve all been waiting for —

Tiger’s naked chest.

True, it’s not a photo related to the scandal.  (I don’t think anyone got a shot of his bloodied lip following the car crash, gosh darn it.)  And the Vanity Fair photo spread was snapped long before any of this ugliness took place.  But at least it was taken by celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz, which means the photos are excellent, even if they aren’t really pertinent.

But Vanity Fair is going to make them seem that way.

The article itself?  Pure conjecture.  An interesting comparison between Tiger’s handling of the scandal and George Clooney’s character in the movie “Up in the Air.”  But no interview with Tiger.  No new details about the situation or his future on the tour.

Vanity Fair, you’ve done the tabloids proud.

Who’s the addict?

I think Seth Meyers said it best on SNL’s Weekend Update:

“Last Friday Tiger Woods hit a tree, and a bunch of ladies fell out.”

Now the news outlets are all Tiger, all the time.  Interviews with his supposed mistresses.  In-depth analysis of the supposed mistresses’ remarks.

In fact,  just this morning, subject matter experts on “The Today Show” were discussing Tiger’s alleged sexual addiction — the signs, the symptoms, the treatments.

Wow.

I’ll bet Tiger is rethinking that whole “this is a personal, family matter that we’d like to keep that way” strategy.

Because, in truth, it doesn’t really matter whether Tiger has 100 mistresses or is a sex addict or is a golf robot (as many other golfers would like to contend).

Whatever addictions he is struggling with are miniscule in comparison to the public’s addiction with celebrities’ personal lives.  We gotta know what happened — every tiny detail, especially if any of them smack of the lude, the crude, or near nude.

Tiger’s first foray into the tabloids has got it all.  And the media is happy to feed the public’s need — because it is a need — to know.

So, really — who is sicker here — the public or Tiger?

Love actually

During a recent flight to California, I sat next to a woman who was particularly forthcoming about the personal details of her life.

(Hey, it was a long trip, and I was bored.)

She wanted my advice: should she dump her live-in boyfriend of three years before or after the holidays?

Now, I once had a relationship breakup at the end of the year.  I chose to wait until after Christmas because I knew we had already invested in the gifts.  Might as well go ahead and exchange them, right?  And we still needed dates on New Year’s Eve.  Then, come January — BAM!  Drop the hammer.  Start the year off right.

That’s my philosophy.  I think it’s sound.

Well, apparently if you’re a celebrity, such niceties go out the window.

Exhibit A:  Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal.  Last Sunday, the papparazzi saw Jake’s assistant moving luggage out of Reese’s home and delivering it to Jake’s place.  Such transactions usually spell breakup in Hollywood.

A month before Christmas, too. They are both passing up some serious swag, and probably a holiday trip to an exotic locale.

Exhibit B: Tiger and Elin Woods.  Okay, so it appears Elin isn’t leaving Tiger…for a cool $5 million dollar paycheck.  But that hardly counts.  Can’t imagine they are going to have a very happy holiday, particularly with all the ho-ho-ho’s in Tiger’s past.

(I crack myself up.)

Perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised that celebrities operate by different rules.  But Reese and Jake?  Tiger and Elin?  They were golden couples, meant for the long haul.

Next thing you know, you’ll tell me Pam Anderson and Kid Rock are breaking up.

Wait. What??