Tag Archives: Tina Fey

Spoken word

I got up at 3:30am to watch the men’s singles final at the Australian Open.

image

Djokovic is playing; of course I did.

There’s a video that has been shown repeatedly throughout the tournament featuring a poem by a native Aussie and images of the continent.

It’s very high brow and thoughtful.

Wimbledon produces similar films which befit its formal air and traditions. But I would love it if the US Open would follow the same format but make them funny.

Same earnest delivery.  Same chamber music.  Heck, you could show the same type of beauty shots.

But have Tina Fey and Amy Poehler voice them and add their hilarious takes.

That would be poetry.

Electric

image

Rory and I were walking to Central Park this morning when we encountered this construction site on the ’30 Rock Block’ (where they used to shoot the exterior of Tina Fey’s apartment).

The hand-lettered sign reads

DANGER
C. M.

Is this a thing?

Even with the additional clue of the Con
Ed truck, I don’t know what that means.

Construction Mess?
Currency Manipulation?
Crystal Meth?

Sorry…too much Breaking Bad.

Any ideas?

Join the countdown

This is blatantly commercial, but it’s the Muppets and Ty Burrell and Tina Fey —

So I’m betting you’ll give me a pass.

See you in the New Year!

Fly away

Attention Saturday Night Live fans:  Gilly and Penelope are no more.

But are the right girls getting the boot?

Kristen Wiig announced her  popular characters’ demise in a Times article promoting her upcoming movie Bridesmaids.

Lorne Michaels didn’t kill the characters; Kristen did.  She felt — with good reason — that their time had come and gone.

Funny that she doesn’t have the same good sense about herself.

Wiig has been with SNL since 2005 and is no doubt one of its strongest female cast members.  [In the interview, Michaels places her in the “top three or four” of all time.]

But her other female contemporaries have moved on to bigger and better things — Tina Fey to 30 Rock, Date Night, and the smash best seller Bossypants.  Amy Poehler is on the funniest sitcom on TV today, Parks & Recreation.  And Maya Rudolph is splitting her time between babies and movies, her latest the aforementioned Bridesmaids with Wiig.

Wiig is no less talented than those who have gone before her…and she’s certainly had no trouble scoring movie roles the last few years. She just can’t seem to cut the SNL apron strings.

I can think of a few things that will help her with that…

Abby Elliott.  Vanessa Bayer.  Nasim Pedrad.  And the writers, whose sketches of late already seem to be favoring the younger blood in the cast.

Leave while you’re on top, Kristen.  Wait around much longer and people are gonna confuse you with Darrell Hammond.

Icky.

Hands off

And now for something completely different — a disparaging remark about “Twilight.”

Well…not really about the saga itself.   It seems a member of the “Twilight” family is trying to score a bigger slice of the fame pie.

This instance seems particularly grabby….but maybe I should expect that from a hands model.

That’s right.  Kimbra Hickey is a ‘parts model’ — as in hands and feet parts — who lives right here in New York City.  Many moons ago, Hickey earned $300 for 2-hours work — the industry rate — to hold an apple for the book cover of “Twilight.”

Of course, at the time, no one knew what a smash hit the books and subsequent movies would be.  And now Hickey wants her extra pound of flesh.

The model has taken to hanging out at the cash register at the local Barnes & Noble, telling “Twilight” book purchasers ‘those are my hands’ and giving autographs.  She’s also attending “Twilight” fan conventions, selling apple-scented hand lotion.

Her ultimate goal?  A role in the final two “Breaking Dawn” films.

Now, as you know, I’m all about self-promotion.  But Hickey thinking she deserves special treatment from the “Twilight” movie producers based on that photograph would be like me expecting my own Emmy for being an extra in an award-winning episode of “30 Rock.”  Granted, I was, and I joked about it…but I didn’t show up at the after-party and expect to get in, or demand a recurring role on the show.  Even I admit that’s ridiculous.

What do you think?  How should Hickey be handled?  To help you make up your mind, check out her website, where she’s posted ‘Frequently Asked Questions’ and her “Twilight” promotional schedule.

Or just visit Barnes and Noble during your next trip to Manhattan.  I hear her autograph is free…for now.

Big wind

So, I’ve been perusing the celebrity gossip sites today (so you don’t have to), and there’s a new breeze blowing across the land.

Remember how you had to be thin to make it in Hollywood?

Now, you’re pretty much hated if you are.

Take Sarah Jessica Parker.  She’s sporting these muscle-only arms of late…and folks are having a field day.  Not admiring the lack of flab or anything like that.

They are pretty much grossed out.

And then there’s Tina Fey.  She’s been everywhere of late.  “30 Rock” is the sitcom of the moment.  Her movie “Date Night” with Steve Carell won the weekend box office.  She hosted a hilarious episode of “Saturday Night Live.”

She’s also been sexing it up on all her magazine covers and even the photo bumps in Saturday’s SNL.  But people want the frumpy Tina back…not this new, thin, mega-styled, air-brushed version.

Part of me applauds this grassroots call for real women to have real bodies.  Whether or not Hollywood will respond is another thing altogether.

But I have to wonder: would any of these people calling for normalcy — if placed in the same position — be able to resist becoming a bit plastic themselves?

Heck, if I achieved stardom — if money was no object — I’m pretty sure I would find it hard to resist a bit of de-frumping.

Who am I kidding?  I wouldn’t even put up a fight.

Ah, dating

I saw “Date Night” last night starring Steve Carell and Tina Fey.

Ignore any mediocre reviews you’ve read.  Trust your instincts about these two and go see it.  It’s really, really funny. (And stay for the credits — there are outtakes.)

Then sit back and be thankful that your worst date doesn’t even compare.

My worst date actually turned out to be one of my favorite stories.

I was in college and met a guy at a good friend’s house.  He came to see me at school one weekend and took me out to dinner at Red Lobster — a big night out.

When we ordered, he asked the waitress if there were nuts in any of his dishes, but she assured him there were not.  (He had a nut allergy.)

Our first course arrived — his rice pilaf, my coleslaw — and we were chatting about whatever.  Suddenly, his eyes got very large and he projectile spit his entire mouthful of rice pilaf all over my face.

Before I could react — get mad or laugh or shake the rice out of my eyebrows — he started yelling,

“Call 9-1-1!  Call 9-1-1!  Call 9-1-1!”

…each more muffled and unintelligible as his throat closed up.

Turns out there were almonds in the rice pilaf.

So, I spent that date in the emergency room, making sure a guy I had only met once before didn’t die.

And I didn’t even get to eat my cheesy bread.

Fey everyday

Hey Tina.  Big week, huh?

We’ve got “30 Rock” tonight — a rerun, but a recent one with the incredible Michael Sheen as Wesley, your reluctant romantic interest.

Then Friday night we’re meeting up at the movie theatre for the anxiously awaited “Date Night” with Steve Carell.  I have laughed hard at every trailer viewing, so I’m pretty stoked (even though I just read a mediocre review — the critics are such ruiners).

On to Saturday night, and Tina, we’ll be together again….’cause you’re hosting “Saturday Night Live.”  No doubt you’ll open the show with your uncanny Sarah Palin impression, or we’ll see it very soon thereafter.

When Sunday comes, I’m thinking feature in the New York Times in addition to the magazine covers that I’ve already spied this week.  And heck, the way things are going, I’ll probably see you walking down the street later that afternoon.  We do both live on the Upper West Side.

But, I have to be honest, Tina — I need some space.

It’s not you; it’s me.

You’re smart and funny and accomplished and, well, everywhere. You are dangerously close to be seriously overexposed.

A little less Tina would make us all appreciate you even more.

Let’s just enjoy the weekend…and after that?

We’re on a break.

Emmys Part II: Tina acting fey

Other people won Emmys Sunday night besides me.  Shocking, I know.

And overall, the winners were excited and gracious in their acceptance speeches.  Some were even funny — many intentionally so — which is always a highlight of the evening for me.

But then the Emmy for “Best Comedy” was awarded to ’30 Rock.’   This announcement was no great shock, but Tina Fey’s attitude continues to be.

I wonder if she ever takes the time to review her acceptance speeches.  The show — and Tina individually — have won enough times now that she has developed a definite persona on the awards show stage.   And here are the words I would use to describe it:  Entitled.  Ungrateful.  Pissy.

Comments like “Man, that was a nail biter” may have been her attempt to be funny, but pretty much dissed her competition in the category.  She followed that up by taking a shot at her own network with “Thanks, NBC, for keeping us on the air when we’re so much more expensive than a talk show.”  Nice way to bite the hand that feeds you there, Tina…especially since your ratings have never been as high as the critics’ opinion of you.

There are ways to be funny and gracious at the same time.  We’ve seen it over and over again at the Emmys, Oscars, even Golden Globes.  If you find saying ‘thank you’ so difficult, I’m sure the producers of any of the other comedies would be happy to take your place.

I’d certainly love to hear what they have to say.