Tag Archives: True Blood writers

[Still] more vampires

You write a blog long enough, you’re bound to start repeating yourself.

Or just realize your pleas are going unanswered.

Way back in August 2009 — when The Sticky Egg had just been hatched — I begged the writers of True Blood to give more screen time to the vamps in Season 2.

And after last night’s season premiere, I feel a repeat of that column — with the appropriate updates, of course — is in order:

Dear True Blood writers:

I started watching your show because of your clever ad campaign featuring vampires. They’re hot right now, as you are well aware. And Bill Compton? He’s really hot.

The first year of the series, you kept me and no doubt a lot of True Blood viewers very happy. It was all Sookie and Bill and the whole vamp storyline. Good times in Bon Temps.

Now, it’s season [four]. [Vampire Eric and Sookie seem poised to pounce upon each other.]  I never thought I’d meet a vampire on True Blood to rival my love for Bill, but there [Eric] is. I want more Eric…and more Bill to battle Eric for Sookie’s affections.

But what is this? Some weirdo [woman bringing birds back to life] in the woods?  In my house, we call this storyline the elongated commercial break before the real players — the vamps — come back on-screen.

The show’s called True Blood.  Show us more of it.

Yep.  Still works.  ‘Cause it’s still true.

Bad blood

Is it just me, or are the women of “True Blood” getting a bit…well… annoying?

I would put them on the following scale:

  • only slighting annoying — new vampire Jessica
  • annoying — the always crying Sookie
  • very annoying — Queen Sophie
  • shoot-her-with-a-gun annoying — Bill’s maker Lorena and Tara (it’s a tie)

Right now, it’s hard to like any of them.  All they do is cry and whine and then cry some more.  Then they get kidnapped or attacked and start crying again.  At least Sookie can read minds and do that flashy light thing with her hands, but then she sees Bill…and starts crying.

I suppose it’s the writers’ fault.  But maybe it’s hard to concentrate when all your male stars are so gosh darn good looking.

I have a scale for them as well:

  • cute like a puppy dog — Hoyt and Terry
  • good-looking guy next door — Sam
  • ripped, dumb guy next door — Jason
  • the hot one with the beard — Alcide
  • the hottest (until Eric) — Bill
  • the hottest thing in Bon Temps — Eric

I should probably add a category for “ugly mean guys,” since they’ve added a few this year to punch up the storyline.  I appreciate that, even though they’re not that fun to look at.

(That vampire Franklin who grabbed Tara?  Ug-ly.  But she annoys me, so I was kinda hoping he’d kill her. It could still happen.  Crossed fingers.)

So, to the writers of “True Blood” — if you’re planning to keep all these women around — or any characters for that matter — give them something interesting to do.

Crying bloody tears only works so many times.