Tag Archives: TV news

When it rains…

morton salt

Television news anchors will be reciting Morton Salt‘s famed slogan “When it rains, it pours” ad nauseam tonight after a wall collapsed at a plant outside Chicago, spilling salt all over cars in an Acura dealership next door.

More surprising?

Within minutes, two separate delivery trucks carrying lemons and bottles of tequila crashed into that very same lot.

No one was injured, but many people were reportedly smashed.



Who’s the addict?

I think Seth Meyers said it best on SNL’s Weekend Update:

“Last Friday Tiger Woods hit a tree, and a bunch of ladies fell out.”

Now the news outlets are all Tiger, all the time.  Interviews with his supposed mistresses.  In-depth analysis of the supposed mistresses’ remarks.

In fact,  just this morning, subject matter experts on “The Today Show” were discussing Tiger’s alleged sexual addiction — the signs, the symptoms, the treatments.


I’ll bet Tiger is rethinking that whole “this is a personal, family matter that we’d like to keep that way” strategy.

Because, in truth, it doesn’t really matter whether Tiger has 100 mistresses or is a sex addict or is a golf robot (as many other golfers would like to contend).

Whatever addictions he is struggling with are miniscule in comparison to the public’s addiction with celebrities’ personal lives.  We gotta know what happened — every tiny detail, especially if any of them smack of the lude, the crude, or near nude.

Tiger’s first foray into the tabloids has got it all.  And the media is happy to feed the public’s need — because it is a need — to know.

So, really — who is sicker here — the public or Tiger?